When’s the last time you looked in the mirror and focused on the entire package and not just one feature? Have you ever felt beautiful? What about your daughter; has she only witnessed your self-deprivation? Or, has she heard you celebrate your body and all the wonderful things it does (um, growing a human being is pretty amazing)? Does she understand beauty also comes in the form of honesty, thoughtfulness and intelligence? And never underestimate the beauty in a genuine smile.

As women we tend to be pretty hard on ourselves and each other for that matter. Sometimes we focus so closely on our “flaws” that we stop celebrating what makes us unique and wonderful. We lose sight of what it means to be comfortable in our own skin, and truly happy.

There’s no denying we live in a culture that places insurmountable importance on external beauty, and elevates it to a standard that’s unattainable for most, if not all. Too often we revere beauty over brains. And we’re all guilty, sometimes not even realizing that we’re perpetuating the delusion. Be honest, the last time you saw your niece or friend’s daughter did you comment on how cute or pretty she is, or did you ask her about her hobbies or what she’s reading? 

Now I’m not saying we shouldn’t strive to better ourselves or disregard the idea of celebrating physical beauty; I’m just saying many of us, me included, needs an attitude make-over. While it’s much easier said than done, it’s time to hang-up our hang-ups and focus on what makes us beautiful—both inner and outer beauty.

Rather than berate ourselves because of stubborn cellulite, saggy boobs, or deepening laugh lines, why not focus on the features and qualities we love about ourselves. Anguishing over superficial flaws is a waste of time and damaging not only our self-esteem, but to our daughters’ self-esteem.

As for me, my cellulite has been with me through fat and skinny since I was 15; I might as well move on, it’s not going anywhere. My 34Gs sag because I’ve chosen to nurse Meebs for 14 months and still going; I wouldn’t trade the bond breastfeeding has created between us for anything, especially not perky 34Cs. The wrinkles around my eyes are deepening, but they’re proof that I’ve lived and laughed. My hang-ups are my own, and ones most people don’t even notice—unless I happen to point them out. What am I hoping to achieve by focusing on my “flaws” anyway? It’s not like I want to be known for having a dimple-free bottom or perky breasts; I want others to see me as intelligent, caring, funny, and a good mother. These are qualities I have control over and make me the person I want to be. Being pretty doesn’t make me a good mother, wife or friend, but a good attitude can.

So the next time you look in the mirror and curse your “flaws”, remember that in comparison to your contagious laugh or stunning eyes, your not-as-cute-as-a-button nose is completely irrelevant. And no one cares or notices except for you. So, no those pants don’t make you look fat, but your attitude might.

So, don’t let this be you, click here.

Instead, click here, and I do like the colour of my hair!