This morning I looked at my watch 5 times in a row and still didn’t know what time it was. I realized I was on auto-pilot and it was only, wow, 7:37am. You know, auto-pilot; detachment from routine tasks, looking without seeing, auto-response dialogue, too disengaged even to daydream. And I still had an entire day to get through; not a great start. But I’m sure all working moms can relate. Then again, what mom isn’t a working mom? So, all moms can probably relate!  

Though I just returned to “work” after my maternity leave and I’m only part-time, I’m so tired. But it’s more than just fatigue; it’s a lack of energy, a lack of inspiration. And this isn’t like me. Most days I feel like an “energizer mummy”; I just keep going and going, and love it…but lately I’m not feeling it. It’s taking more and more effort to stay present and positive. Sound familiar?

When I sense I’m disengaging from my life I do whatever it takes to snap out of it. I’m aware that every moment I breathe impacts someone somewhere and negativity is an airborne pollutant. So how do I reenergize? It can be as simple as wilfully refocusing my attention to the good that’s right in front of me. It’s always there. Meebs is usually a good source of re-energy, and so are some of my favourite tunes (I’m a die-hard Jann Fann). Sometimes I need to call on the shiny happy people in my life for backup. And when all seems lost, writing is my one true cathartic outlet and fail-proof energizer. With every rhyme or paragraph written I’m revived. That’s the beauty of being open to positive energy: one person, one conversation, one experience, can change your mood and even your outlook on life. This is what I call receptive-energy.

And that’s exactly what’s happened to me. Recently on my commute home a particular woman caught my attention. Each day she steps off the bus and walks towards her significant other who waits with open arms. He tightly embraces her before taking her briefcase and her hand as they walk to the car. Can you imagine coming home to that kind of loving reception every day, from someone other than the dog? I know nothing else about her and have no idea what their relationship is like beyond that brief observation, but I want that! And she doesn’t even know she’s influenced my life.  I want that too—to be able to inspire others just by living and loving well.

She has been my reminder that no matter what happened at work and regardless of how tired or cranky I am, my family deserves my best self and not just what’s left over after a rough day. I miss them every moment I’m gone, but you’d never have known it by the way I used to walk through the front door, my cloak of negativity dragging behind me. Now I try to come home with open arms and joy in my heart. It often takes real effort, but in the end it’s energy well spent.

As for right now, just writing today’s blog has reenergized me. Auto-pilot disabled! We all feel disengaged at times, but how we rebound is what counts. So, what energizes you? And even better, who energizes you? The goodness can always be found when you practice receptive-energy; sometimes it takes a little extra effort to find it, but there’s always a high return of positive energy when you do.